Happy October! You know what that means—it’s time for Horror Movie Monday once again.
I had so much fun doing this last year that I had to do it again. I’m not exactly a big fan of horror movies, I’ll admit—but I love just about anything set on a ship, so there we go.
The first movie we’re looking at this month is 2022’s VampyrZ on a Boat. Written and directed by Mark Allen Michaels, the film stars Dallas Valdez, Carrie Keagan, and Robert Acres. At just 72 minutes, it’s short but surprisingly full of life (and undead antics).
So, how was this film? Let’s find out! Spoilers ahead.
Plot Summary
Under the Santa Monica Pier, retired operative Max (Dallas Valdez) is listening to his friend Del (Curt Lambert) on why he should join him on a mysterious voyage aboard his uncle’s ship. His skills would be handy. Del promises that Max won’t even feel the waves, but his friend is still reluctant. Max finally agrees after meeting Sara (Carrie Keagan), who’s also along for the trip.
Cut to Long Beach, California, with a great shot of the Queen Mary in the distance. Aboard the vessel, the eccentric captain (Robert Acres) explains that a secret organization has chartered the ship for an at-sea experiment under total communications blackout. Uneasy about it, he brings Del and Max along to uncover what’s really going on.
Del’s surveillance shows something strange: one passenger hasn’t moved since departure, and audio from their room includes eerie, bat-like sounds. Meanwhile, Max reconnects with Sara, and they quickly hit it off. But soon, several crew members are brutally murdered in the mess hall by an unseen force.
The research doctor (Andrea Leithe) finally reveals the truth: a centuries-old vampire is loose onboard. She’d been studying it in the hopes of finding the key to immortality. Sara, a reporter covering the creature’s initial discovery, unknowingly influences it—an unintentional subject of the doctor’s experiments. Before long, she’s bitten and becomes a vampire herself in the Master Vampire’s quest for a mate.
Max and Del look for Sara, but things go sideways fast. Many crew members have become vampires themselves, leaving the living to fend for themselves. To complicate matters, their undead foes can disappear at will. After one of the vampires kills him, Max wakes up in the past as if nothing had happened. He realizes he’s trapped in a time loop, reliving the same moment again and again. As he tries to break the cycle, he learns there’s something special about his blood—maybe even supernatural.
In the final battle, Max scalds the Master Vampire to death with steam, then captures Sara in an effort to restore her humanity. They bite each other’s necks and the scene fades. The two are back under the Santa Monica Pier, sharing a passionate kiss as the credits roll.
My Review
This horror-comedy is surprisingly entertaining, especially with such a short running time. It’s witty, fun, and never takes itself too seriously. I laughed out loud at the candlelight dinner in the engine room. That inherent silliness is the movie’s greatest strength—especially given its premise.
That said, there’s very little plot or character development. Max and Sara’s romance feels rushed and incredibly forced, but that’s par for the course in this movie. The acting is perfectly on-brand for this kind of film. With tongue firmly in cheek, everyone knows exactly what kind of movie they’re making. Robert Acres especially chews up the scenery with eccentric glee whenever he’s on screen.
VampyrZ on a Boat delivers laughs and a few gruesome moments that should keep even the most casual horror fan (like myself) happy—or at least entertained.
The movie was largely filmed aboard the historic SS Lane Victory in San Pedro, California. The World War II Liberty Ship is a great setting for this movie—claustrophobic, atmospheric, and full of character. It reminded me a bit of Death Ship in that regard.
Final Thoughts
VampyrZ on a Boat isn’t a great horror movie, but it’s not trying to be—and that’s exactly why it works. It feels like a loving tribute to all those iconic, campy B-movies of the past. I loved it way more than I expected to.
If you’re in the mood for something short and silly this Halloween, VampyrZ on a Boat is a pretty good choice.
Leave a Reply